Its now or [[never]] <3

So. My first blog.

I am in California, 20 miles away from these crazy fires! 

I love it here though. I have finals next week then finally a break and off to MEXICO!

You think someone is so amazing and incredible. You really begin to like them.  But its against everything. Its against what youve ever believed in. How can it be so wrong? The attraction is there. Its REAL feelings. Its not something you can make up. 

Then again

You can think about how much your stomach hurts for so long it eventually starts to hurt.

You can think yourself into having a headache.

Can you think yourself into attraction?

Is it possible that these things are false when they feel so real?

Its said He loves all of His children. is that true? because I am feeling He is only loving half.

Half of me. The half I show to the world.

The half I really want to be and try to be.

The good half.

but then theres another part of me. Another person I try not to be.

This person comes into my head when I sit here and think too long and try so hard to move on.

How do things like this happen? I was doing so good.

"When creative people get bored they think and do bad things"

This is what describes me. I dont know what to think or do anymore.

I love Him so much, but what are these feelings?

Where are they coming from?

Why are they here?

Why wont they go away?