Think back think back to the summer time
I would cross through these state lines
You were always on my mind
I would cross through these state lines
You were always on my mind
Wow. Looking back sends me on a TRIP
What was it like when I was younger? I was always hurting. I was never truly happy. I just tried to find ways to concur my hurt. I went through times that I wish I couldnt remember. I saw things I would kill to erase from my memory. All of these things, but somehow here I am now. 3 months early at birth with a 2% chance of living? Yet here I am today. Stronger then ever. I have made mistakes. Horrible mistakes. But thats not who I am anymore. Ive become someone I am proud of. Someone I can look at in the eye when I look in the mirror.
For a long time I could look at myself in the mirror, but I could never look myself in the eyes. Why? I have no idea. I didnt want to face what lay beyond them? I was ashamed? I was scared? All of the above? Most likely.
When I look back, i cant believe that person even existed. but I am deep inside glad she did. Glad I was able to make those mistakes and hurt those people. If I hadnt, i wouldnt be who I am today, wouldnt have learned or helped the people I am now able to.
I am a new person and it all started July 18, 2009. A day i couldnt ever forget. Coming out of that water I felt weightless, like everything that i had ever worried about or seen or been hurt by was gone. I was a legit new person. The old me was drained along with that warm baptismal water. I look back on my life now with a purpose.
No longer just a big question mark.
How do you look back on your life?
:]
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